My journey forced me off my planned course and on to a new path, where I was forced to give up my goals in order to live along side my value set.
A surprise prgancancy, and the baby being so unwell day care wasn’t an option made me realise I was missing an essential part of the goal setting puzzle.
Understanding my value set!
Eventually my values didn’t align with my goals, or maybe they never did,. I only really subscribed to the teaching of..if I have more money, more things I will be happy.. so set goals around more money more things..
Your Values are a compass set to guide you to your best life, , they are things that truly light you up.. so if you take away the material world, judgement and fear, what is it that you really value?
Bernae Brown writes that we all have two main values, and all the rest can fall under these two values. The idea of understanding your value set is so you can live with intention, set goals with intention and most of all be aligned. Aligned with who you really are.
Some values that Brene Brown mentions are, growth, courage, respect, pride, connection, love, family, adventure, achievement, accountability, commitment etc.
The list is huge and picking two is difficult, but it is a journey that helps your prioritize and understand yourself. Once you’ve really started to work though these, your goals will be come clearer.. yes you still many want the new car, job and hot tub. But you may see a different way of getting there, you might be happy to wait for longer to get their if it means you can truly be aligned. Coz whats the point of getting the new job if your not enjoying your life.
So my current values are,
Freedom and connection
All the goals I have align with these two core value pillars…
So although I do still set goals.. I don’t set them at the extreme of what I can possibly achieve. I leave space for play, spontaneous decisions and nothing is achieved in spite of the relationships I value most!
I Love Goals and its a fun part of life for me, to consider what is possible, to arrange and organise.. so good!
I often do them in a space of reflection, looking at what went well for me ..listing then what I really want under different sub headings and then looking at real achievements, I usually have my bank numbers available to so I can set realistic goal..
So what we owe, what we’ve saved, what funds are tagged and what’s on the calendar year for us..
Then a wild brain storm of what I want.. I then like to compare it to my husband’s brainstorm and pick out the top three things.. make that the priority for the year..add things to to your five/ten year plans.
Now when I set goals I make sure that these goals will not stop me from aligning with my values. For instance I work less so I can be there for my kids, I will work because being a one income home with three kids if difficult.. and also I need to fix my car.
But also I love working, I love serving, I love offering our community quality plant medicine for the mind and soul. This gives me freedom of the mind and fills my cup.
Once you’ve picked your big goals.. work out how you will attain them?
Break down the goals understand what it will take, and then revisit your goals regularly, at least every three months and keep the goals visible somewhere, a quick glance to keep you focused.
I also have a weekly planner where I will add tasks to keep me focused and aligned though the week.
In conclusion I recommend setting goals that align with your values and doing the Brene Brown worksheets. https://brenebrown.com/resources/dare-to-lead-list-of-values/
Make sure the goals will really solve your wanting/desire or issue
Break down the goals to achievable goals.. put a time frame on it
Take small steps every week towards your goals, and re-evaluate your goals!
With every action is an opportunity cost, make sure your action is aligned with your values other wise the opportunity cost may be your own happiness.
And remember!! Don’t be afraid of goals on the journey to pursue your goal you may find something better…they should not be set in stone.